I have been divorced for about 13 years. My ex-husband and I are not friends but we are not enemies. We have been in social situations about 3 times in 13 years and survived. While I am not close with him but I am close with our children. My daughter is very close with her father. My son and his dad have had a strained relationship for many reasons
About a month ago my daughter called to tell me her Dad had that ugly C word-Cancer. He had to undergo major surgery and was not in the best of health. His lifestyle is the antithesis of mine but that has been his choice. He may be my ex but this is certainly an ugly devastating disease. I did find out there were some lifestyle changes he had made and he was trying.
One thing he wanted to do was meet our granddaughter. The one thing I wanted was my son to see his dad. I didn’t want my son to do this for his dad but rather for himself. I am a firm believer that you have to make sure you live with no regrets. Everyone was agreeable to meeting but time was running short.
The week before his surgery I made a decision. I would open my house and allow the meeting to take place here. We all decided the Sunday before his surgery would work best for everyone. I made an old fashion Sunday dinner and I think everyone had a good time.
My granddaughter did get to meet her grandfather and my son was able to spend some time with his dad
His surgery went well but now he has to undergo 6 cycles of chemotherapy. I am hoping the best for him.
I had the meeting at my house because I have to look in the mirror every day. I had very strong feelings it was the right thing to do. There would have been a time I would have not done it due to hurt and bitterness. For me, there comes a time when I have to get past that and move on with life. There was also a time when I may have considered getting involved in his care. I now know my boundaries and limits. I also know I cannot get on that merry-go-round again. I will and have given support and guidance but know where I feel comfortable. Thinking back and reflecting, I have come a long way and I am proud of myself.