I tend to waver when trying to decide if I am my own best friend or enemy. I can honestly say I am more loving to myself than when I was in my twenties. Back then I was the ultimate people pleaser and put everyone ahead of me. I was someone’s wife and mother. Back then I was a young mother raising two children and felt that to be a good mother your children came first. I thought it was fine to put myself last.
My nursing career was the beginning of me being my best friend. I chose to pursue my career after being married and a mother of two young children under the age of 5. Nursing showed me I am an intelligent independent woman. It also allowed me to be a role model for both my children showing them that you can and need to achieve your dreams. I learned putting yourself first wasn’t wrong but rather a necessary step.
In contrast, I have always struggled with being a perfectionist. If I make an error or fail to achieve a goal I can be my own best critic. At times, it takes a real effort for me to stop and look at the situation in a different perspective. I am getting better at avoiding this thinking but still occasionally backslide.
I have deemed 2014 the year of me. I am trying to put me first. I have been doing quite well since January but it still a work in progress. The one thing I have learned is that I am a strong intelligent person. I do not define myself by a role: mother, grandmother, professional. I am a combination of all of those and also much more.
At the beginning I couldn’t decide if I was my own best friend but after some reflection I know the answer is yes. What is your answer for you?